A new day breaks
It seems to always snow like this on New Year’s Eve or Day. It’s the light fluffy snow that takes its time journeying to the ground. It admires the scenery of the heavy clouds, the frost crusted canopies, the snow birds huddled in the branches, the houses with smoke puffing out of their chimneys. Maybe it will even find a human to hitch a ride on, clinging gently to their hats or sleeves, or melting delicately on a tongue.
It’s soft and comforting this New Year’s snow, tending the scars and wounds of the year. It softens the lines of the landscape, cocooning us into a little bubble of place and time. This snow is the only warm hug that is cold to the touch. It’s ok, it says, you’ve made it another year. Rest.
In the weeks leading up to a new year, a particular word seems to always come to the surface. It’s a word that I hope to embody in the year to come, something that feels essential to a path of growth. Like many people I do have goals and curiosities that I plan to explore. There is something so hopeful about a blank page, a clean slate, even if it’s only marked by a change in the calendar.
But it is this single word that seems to be a continual thread that I weave back on again and again throughout the year. These words become mantras when the path becomes hard to find and faith falters.
Two years ago, when I was still unsure about having children, my word was fearless. It helped me walk to the edge of the cliff and step off into an abyss of unknowns.
Last year it was clarity. I was in such a stage of transition both in life, career, purpose, and spirit. It helped me peel back the layers and search in places I had packed away. While there are still some questions to be answered, I have found a solid ground to set my feet.
This year, the word that has come up insistently this month is soften. One night recently I was laying in bed trying to sleep, but realized I couldn’t physically relax my muscles. My body has been in a perpetual state of tension. Particularly in my shoulders, neck and head area where I carry stress. Whenever I’ve had physical issues, it has always been my body telling me something my mind should have already known by then.
Life is beautiful, but there are so many balls to juggle and it feels like there is always one being dropped. I know this is inevitable, but I want to find a way to soften into these spaces like the snow that falls outside my window, unhurried and gentle. I want to melt into life, to fall into it like a feather bed. I want to create intuitively without getting stuck, to become moldable and free flowing again.
So these past few days I’ve created a new year’s plan. These are the things that I feel will lead to relaxed muscles, mind, and spirit. I plan on trying them all if I haven’t already. Some may stick, some may not. Instead of focusing on goals this year, I want to focus on a way of being. If you need a bit of softness too, this is for you.
Prioritize Sleep
I’ve struggled with insomnia on and off my whole life so i’ve decided one of the best ways to build my foundation of softness is to prioritize sleep. I started reading The Natrual Sleeper and this book is a revelation. The thought of addressing sleep issues was always a source of anxiety for me, but this book itself feels soft. It is gentle and full of practical and more metaphysical ideas for practicing and celebrating good sleep. From creating nighttime rituals to alternative therapies, sleep tech, movement, plants, meditation, and everything in between, it has suggestions for everyone to create habits that work for them.
Explore Curiosities and Classes
One thing I learned about motherhood is that (for me personally) it is harder to take care of myself than it is to take care of my child. I have found time to do some things for myself, but this year I want to prioritize it. One of the things that has forced me to do this is by joining classes because I have set dates and a community that helps keep me accountable.
I just joined an online course with Laura McKendry called Illustrating Nature: A Creative Exploration. I have no idea how they can afford to make these courses so cheap because they are so in-depth, but I am loving it.
In-person classes are also on my list of things to do this year. Living as rurally as we do makes this very difficult. We used to have a great spin class I became obsessed with in the basement of the gym in town, but they’ve since stopped doing them. Hopefully I can find something else that isn’t too far away.
Plant Allies
Leaning more heavily on the plants is also a top priority for softness. Matcha has been a constant source of support from pregnancy to the present. It sets a great foundation for the day. I’ve worked with a variety of other herbs over the months, but I want to get serious about some plants in particular more regularly. Herbs that support the adrenals as well as those that focus on releasing muscle tension, improve circulation, and soothe the nervous system are the main focus.
Blue Vervain: this is a plant that was an extremely supportive ally for me in the past. Most western herbalists will say blue vervain is best for those with “type A personalities”, but I have some other thoughts. When I ran my brick and mortar store, I would always suggest blue vervain for anyone who carries tension in the head, neck and shoulders. It also seems to be helpful in physical form as well as flower essence form for overstimulation. This plant is extremely bitter so it is best taken in tincture form. It pairs beautifully with skullcap, passionflower, wood betony, and lavender.
Rosemary: one of my favorite grandmother plants. I think mothers need to be mothered perhaps more than anyone! This is one of those plants that just embraces you fully. It is warming, stimulating, enlivening to the spirit and senses. I’m particularly intrigued to work with rosemary this year because it helps increase circulation to the neck and head area where much of my stress is carried. The essential oil can be used in a diffuser, though with animals in the house I can’t use it in this way. I just made a batch of rosemary bitters though, which I look forward to adding to sparkling water in the evenings. I combined the rosemary with ginger, gentian, dandelion root, motherwort and a bit of fenugreek.
Milky Oats: this is an herb that is often recommended for mothers to support the adrenals. It is a trophorestorative, which is an herb that helps to rebuild and support depleted tissue systems in the body. Milky oats are nutrient dense with compounds such as iron, zinc, silica, magnesium, calcium, and vitamin B. They support restful sleep and diffuse stress in the head area by reducing brain fog. Other ways to support the adrenals are with mineral rich foods, but when in a time crunch, milky oats are a great way to get this boost in quickly. I love the Northern Nirvana Tea from Bear Earth Herbals and I also plan on getting a fresh milky oats tincture.
Body Care
One of the things I stopped doing after giving birth was going to the chiropractor. My practitioner is 45 minutes away and she got increasingly difficult to get to when nap schedules became a top priority. The chiropractor has been an accessible resource for me throughout my adult life for a wide array of issues. I’ve acutely started feeling the tension build up in my right side where I carry the baby. Getting back into a regular chiropractor routine is essential for my softness recipe.
Plus just moving my body in general. Having a toddler means moving around all day, but it’s not the type of movement that is particularly nourishing to the body. There are a lot of awkward positions and held breaths. Getting back to moving with intention in my quiet moments feels important. Whether that be yoga, breathwork, dancing or simple stretches, I need to remind my body that I still care.
Adventure
When the days seem to string together and it feels like you have blinked once and the day is over, break the cycle. Spend the night somewhere else. It can be in a hotel, but it can also be at a friend’s, grandparent’s, or parent’s house. Just getting out of the typical routine helps diffuse built up tension.
Read
One thing I haven’t kept up with this year is reading. I’ve read a few books here and there, but nothing like I used to. Especially those fictional books that transport the reader to another world to dream and imagine. I miss those the most. Nothing softens the spirit like stories. I just started the Shattered Realms series by Cinda Williams Chima. Her Seven Realms series is one of my all time favorite fantasy books.
Analog Planning and Journaling
This is something I’ve kept to religiously, but this past month it’s fallen to the wayside with the holidays. Carrying the next day’s plans and worries to bed is a recipe for tension. Writing everything down with all of my essential tasks as part of a nighttime routine helps me compartmentalize life in a productive way. Part of the reason I create the Luna Terra Planner is because I need it myself.
Other Therapies
I’m also interested in exploring different techniques such as sensory deprivation, massage, craniosacral, somatic therapy, and other types of energy work.
A final prayer to all the things in life that remind us what softness feels like.
A whispered voice like a soft caress
Can calm a spirit in distress
Can touch and heal.
Soft satin flows over a fevered skin
Awakes sensations deep within
My senses reel.
A gentle breeze on a balmy night
Can put a restless sleep to right
Can quiet the soul.
The tender kiss of a little child
An anointing so undefiled
This makes me whole.
A bow pulled soft across a string
With tempered resonance echoing
Delights my mind.
A fleeting fragrance in the air
A little nudge that you are near
My heaven I find.
~ Gillian P Stokes
Cheers to a new year my friends, thank you as always for being here.
Much love,
Val






Happy New Year All! It's going to be a great one.
Val, let me know how you like the art course. I'm just starting with gouache and trying to keep costs down.
Bonne année Val ! Happy new year :-)
2025 has been tough so your plan is inspiring me too.